I'm Lost

Yep, I haven't posted in a while and I'm blaming Netflix and Lost. See, Netflix has 4 seasons on their watch instantly feature. I never watched Lost on TV because I had heard it was so addictive and I just didn't have the time or desire to get into it. Well, because of Netflix, I can watch how ever many episodes I want whenever I want to. YAY!!! So, the spare seconds I have had, I've spent watching Lost rather than writing on my blog. That's where all this is going.

In other news, my 2nd angel's birthday is coming up. Nov. 2nd it will be a year when I lost my baby. I still think of her every single day. And when I think of her, I think of Angel, my 1st miscarried baby. These babies are forever in my heart. I wish I could say I had a new baby in my womb to sooth my broken heart during this difficult time, but I can't.

What I do have are my amazing husband and sweet children. I don't know what I would do without them in my life. They keep me going when times are difficult. They love me even when I'm grumpy. I am so blessed.

OMGosh!!!

Check this out! FREE CHOCOLATE!!! It's only on Fridays, and my friend thinks it's ending soon. You'll have to copy and paste it into your browser. I still haven't figured out links...grrr!

https://secure.realchocolate.com/

I needed this

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." - Elder Wirthlin

I've shed so many tears since this time last year. I'm looking forward to the tears of rejoicing and gratitude.

You can read the entire talk at http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=b5f44bb52a73d110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD

A giveaway!

Ok, so I'm not giving it away, but my friend is at this blog:
http://lifewiththeduprees.blogspot.com/2009/09/temple-touch-thermometer-giveaway.html

It sounds really cool!

September =BUSY!!!

It's that time of year again! September is always ultra busy around here. It seems I make it through the summer and think I need something more to occupy my time, so I sign up for a million things that start in the fall and then I'm overwhelmed. LOL! I think I've been much better this year.

Sis started kindy in August. She's had so much fun there and I'm so happy for her. I didn't even cry when she went! She also started ballet lessons. She's only been once, because she's had a cold, but she absolutely loves it.

I teach piano theory lessons two days a week again like I did last year. I feel more confident about myself and my teaching abilities this year. YAY! Orchestra starts next week, and I'm looking forward to it. It amazes me how at the end of every orchestra year I begin to wonder if I will have the stamina to come back the next year, and then I'm so excited in the fall to start again. I'm glad it's that way though. This is the first year that the only new thing for me will be the students. YAY! So, orchestra will be another 5 hours a week.

Oh, and I go walking three times a week.

And Pilates 2 times a week.

And I babysit on Friday mornings.

And I'm in a book club.

And September is birthday month for us.

And I have 6 private string students.

I highly doubt I got it all. Maybe someday I will actually be organized enough to be this busy. LOL!!!

COUPONS!!!

Ok, I think I've become a coupon nerd. Yes, that's right! I am a coupon nerd. What else do you call someone who subscribes to the newspaper simply to qualify for 5, yes FIVE, Sunday papers? I know ladies who get even more than that! Pretty impressive, eh?

That's not the best of it! I want to share what I bought last week and let you decide for yourself if coupons are the way to go. Now, please keep in mind I've been doing this since March, so I have a pretty good coupon collection.

Ok, in the 5 transactions I had at Albertsons this week (you have to do multiple transactions sometimes for the coupons) this is what I bought.

*7 boxes GM Cinnamon Toast Crunch
*10 boxes GM Honey Nut Cheerios
*10 boxes GM Kix
*1 box GM Cookie Crisp
*2 boxes Bisquick
*3 Best Foods Mayo bottles (you know, the bigger ones)
*3 boxes cereal bars
*4 boxes fruit snacks
*5 packages Pillsbury refrigerated cookie dough
*3 52-load bottles of Tide
*2 8-count packages of Bounty paper towels
*11 boxes Puffs Tissue (65-72 count)
*36 (in 3 packages) rolls of Charmain toilet paper
*Asparagus
*2 packages baby carrots

Ok, here is the math. I bought 67 items. This totaled $94.23 before sales tax ($8.47). Now, the carrots and asparagus were bought on sale, but not with a coupon, so I'll subtract those out as well. Now we're to $90.57 and 64 items. That is $1.41 PER ITEM! How crazy is that?

Are you ready for this huge number? I'm going to tell you how much money the coupons took off. Including preferred savings: $236.47 WHAT!!! That insanity! I would never have fathomed saving so much. How exciting is this? I was curious to see how many coupons I used and the actual coupon total is $88.85 A little more believable, but still!

I pay less than $20 a month for the newspaper, and I'm saving nearly $90 AND building my food storage at the same time? We will not need to buy cereal for about 3 months, we're good on laundry detergent for the next 18 months if not much longer. Also, I'll probably not have to buy more mayo in over a year. Isn't this awesome? I'm totally geeking out about it ;)

Small update

Maybe I'm not as screwed up as I thought I was. I got a peak day on my monitor. Keeps us in your prayers and your fingers crossed!

Getting Desperate!!!

Ok, so those of you who know me know that I'm a cat person. I'd even go so far to say I am NOT a dog person. Anyone agree with me?

So, why do I want a puppy? I want a puppy and have gone so far as to research a bit online to see what kind of breed might do well with my family. I've even looked at the website for the local Humane Society to see what they have there. I think I want this kind of puppy:



How precious is that? And I've read that they are very good with kids, which is something we would need. I keep thinking it would be nice to have a dog to go on walks with and to play with and to entertain my kids with.

Am I sick??? No, I'm just so baby hungry :( I'm pretty sure that is at the root of all this. I'm ten months out since my last positive pregnancy test and 9 months from my miscarriage. I'm also noticing a lot of signs that are not good for my fertility. Last month my cycle was a whopping 68 days long. This month, I'm on day 20 and still have no hint of when ovulation may occur. I'm not only using ovulation predictor kits (OPKs) but I've begun taking my temperature as well. All signs tell me my body is screwed up.

So, Chip and I talked about it, and I'm going to see my dr about possible fertility treatments. We figure since we do want another baby, we should probably do all we can, within reason and money constraints, to get one here. I admit, I'm nervous about it. I've heard of some awful mood swings caused by the meds they put women on. Hopefully it would all be for the best.

Maybe life would just be easier if we got a dog.

Challenge!

Yes, I know it's been a near eternity since I've blogged. BAD ME! Ok? I just hope I haven't lost all of my readership.

So, here is something on my mind. I was recently made the ward music chairperson. That means I get to be in charge of the music for Sacrament meetings etc. So, I also am supposed to find people to do musical numbers.

Now, of course I appreciate talent and such, but I would much rather have people with willing hearts, kwim? I would love for a family to get up and sing their favorite song about Jesus, or someone who hasn't played the piano in ages but wants to work on their talent again play something for us. I wish some people would understand that a special musical number is not a talent show. It's a way to express your testimony of the gospel through music.

2 weeks ago I sent around a sign-up sheet to the different groups asking them to let me know if any of them or their family members would want to do a musical number. Only one person signed up and she admitted that she thought about erasing it because I probably knew I could call on them at any time. This totally bummed me out! I want people to know it's ok if you can't sing. It's about the spirit you bring to the meeting through your testimony.

So, I challenge everyone reading this to go to your ward music person and offer your family to sing a children's song in Sacrament meeting. It would make that person's life a lot easier, and you as well as those in your ward will be blessed for your efforts!

CA Redwoods Vacation :)

So we left last Tuesday for a family vacation in the California Redwoods. We drove for two days to get there, played for two days, and drove two days to get home. Needless to say, we spent a lot of time in our car. However, we saw some REALLY cool things. Like the ocean.


Elk in our "yard" at the cabin we were staying in


A really neat spider's web.


And this really cool tree that is actually 12 trees growing out of one trunk. Pretty remarkable!

I might update...someday ;)

Well, I just might update someday. LOL! We're actually leaving on vacation this week so I will update when we get back...maybe. No, I will! Get ready to see some awesome pics in the coming days :)

Thankful for Trials

In the light of my cousin's loss, I've been contemplating my own trials. Mainly, my pregnancy losses.

I admit, going through my first loss I was not a nice person. Well, not really a nice person, I was very resentful toward everything though. I had a hard time seeing pregnant women. I became obsessed with trying to conceive and ended up ignoring many of my family responsibilities. Thankfully, I was wise enough to remember what my grieving process was like. I figured out my inattentiveness was normal as was my anger toward my Heavenly Father and life in general. I was also blessed to conceive my sweet baby boy within 6 months of my loss.

I'm not sure I ever thought I would be thankful for the loss of my pregnancy. Then April 11th hit last year. That was the day one of my best friend's husband died in a freak motorcycle accident. Obviously her loss was much more intense than my own, but I had learned that grieving is grieving, and there are certain steps that everyone goes through. Knowing this, I was much more conscious of my actions and words to my dear friend. I am thankful of the compassion I gained in going through my own loss. However, it was not enough. I found myself not bringing her husband up during conversation thinking it would be less painful as she talked to me if we didn't talk about him.

And then, 6 months later, I had my second miscarriage. I was scared of the feelings I had experienced the last time. I didn't want to go back to that dark place. I wanted to be happy and normal despite my trials. I also wanted to talk about my baby. You see, even though my miscarriages were early and at least the first one was shown to have no fetal material at all, they were still very real babies to me. They have names, and I had my dreams. And then it hit me. I HATED that no one would talk about my baby. No one would bring up that it had was the anniversary of my loss. Like if they didn't talk about it, it would be less painful to me. Then it dawned on me. I was doing the same thing to my precious friend. I learned that there is no reason to avoid talking about a person's loved one. It's not a revelation to them that they have had a loss. It's not like you are going to remind them of anything. They NEVER forget. It's always on their mind.

I like to think my experiences have made me a more compassionate person. I hope I can remember these lessons all through my life. I know I still fail a lot. I'm not as compassionate to some as I am to others. I'm even likely to get a bit arrogant in my "knowledge" and completely miss helping others. However, I'm still trying and I am a bit more aware of what people may be going through. Yes, I can even say I am thankful for my trials because of the lessons they have taught me.

Sad News

My cousin gave birth to a beautiful, tiny baby boy last week. He was born way too early. Sometimes it seemed like he just might pull through. The things his mommy posted, that he was such a fighter and that they were going to get through this, made me hope that he really would survive. Well, he didn't :( He died yesterday, I think. Anyway, I feel like I just want to say anything, but don't have anything helpful to say. I just wish we wouldn't have to experience so much heart-ache in this life. I guess without it, we wouldn't know how to cherish each other.

I'm sorry this is so jumbled. I just want to send out the reminder to hold your little ones. Life can be so unexpected sometimes.

My baby is two!

Wow! Where have the last two years gone? Buddy turns two today. Seriously? It seems like we just brought him home yesterday :( Suddenly he's a two-year-old? This can't be happening to me!

Buddy was born on Monday afternoon after only 3 hours of labor. I had to be started due to my high blood pressure and my going crazy after only 2 weeks of bed-rest. I say only because I know there are incredible ladies out there who have been on bed-rest MUCH longer than 2 weeks. Let me just say, I don't know how you did/do it!

Anyway, Buddy is my second baby, but the first one that got to come home with me when I was released from the hospital. He was 6 pounds 11 ounces and beautiful. He still looks just like his daddy.

Buddy shows me how he is growing up every day. He is adding so many signs to his signing repertoire. Today he asked for "help" to open the door. Yesterday, I was "silly" mommy.

Happy birthday my baby boy!!!

update coming...

I've been lousy at updating lately. I'm still here. We're fighting the sickies here with a really annoying, but rather mild cold. I'll update when everyone's feeling a bit better :)

Made my day!

So, I'm feeling better. Sorry about the previous post. We all have days like that, right?

Anyway, I got an awesome phone call today that really made my day. A friend called and basically thanked me for being a good friend to her. Of course she said a lot more than that, but I would hate to embarrass her here (in case she wants me too, but she'd have to let me know). Anyway, it made me feel really good to know that I'm doing a good job in that department. I may be going crazy in the motherhood department, but I'm there for my friend when she really needs someone and that is saying something.

So annoyed today!

I really don't even have an excuse. EVERYTHING is bugging me today! I don't know how to stop this feeling. I really wish I could. I've been snippy and grumpy and everything else. What is my problem? I know what ISN'T my problem. I'm not pregnant. I'm also not pmsing. GRRRR!!! I really just needed to get this out somewhere. I don't want to complain to anyone in real life because I'm not complaining about anything, you know? Maybe I should just go back to bed...

He's TOO good!

So, Tuesday my sister informed me of a study going on at the local university and that they were looking for toddlers between 1.5 and 2.5 years and their parents. She thought there would be $200 given to those who joined, so I decided to give it a try with buddy.

So, we get to the university at the appointed time and were brought back to a room. There they explained to me there was no money involved and that the only benefit from being in the study was learning some parenting skills. Sure, ok. I'm all for research and how it may better society.

Next, they put me in another room so buddy's development could be assessed. There, I started on a pile of paperwork that asked questions that made me think they were screening out autism and other questions that wanted me to be a bad parent. Most of the questions were not even age appropriate such as "How often does your child lie?". I highly doubt that has even occurred to buddy. Maybe if he could talk...anyway. ***Clarification* Many of the questions were not age appropriate because they were using different tests that had already been used in other programs. I was suppose to just mark "never" on the questions that he had never done nor was capable of doing. Still kind of dumb, but just so you all know :) ***

After I've been doing paperwork for a while they bring buddy in to me and we start the observation process. I got to be all cool with a "bug" in my ear telling me new instructions as the observation proceeds. So, the first instruction is to only let him play with toys on the floor. Not a big deal. Occasionally he goes over and wants to play with the other ones and I just tell him no and he goes back to the ones on the floor. Eventually he got bored with that, but he just stood there and kind of whimpered. All this time, I've still been working on the papers because that what they told me to do. After about 6 minutes they let me get down and play with him, but still just the toys on the floor. That was fun and everything went smoothly.

Next they wanted me to ask him to clean up without my help. He did pretty good, but needed a lot of encouragement. Then I could get down on the floor and help him, but I couldn't DO it for him. So that went well too.

After all of this the woman in charge of the study walks in and tells me he doesn't qualify for the study. Really? Why? Because he's too good! He's better than average in behavior and is just plain precious! So, she then offered the parenting classes to me anyway as payment. I declined.

Forgive me, but I find it funny that the Psych department does all these studies. Maybe the joke is on them as I majored in Family Development. Maybe buddy has us both because he's just so sweet!

Counting Blessings

Ok, so when I first contemplated my post today, I considered complaining about how my kids are fighting again, or how my house is messy, or how it snowed all last week. Then I caught myself. I am so blessed! How can I even be complaining about these sorts of things? So, I'll post about how I'm blessed rather than how things aren't going exactly as I want them to at all times. LOL!

I am blessed to be married to my soul mate. We seriously must have been made for each other. We are very similar personalities. We like to do similar things. We have the same goals and outlooks on life. Where we aren't the same, we compliment each other. One example: I HATE loading the dishwasher. I know, it's not that hard! But, I hate the slimy dishes and stink that accompanies them. Well, Chip loathes unloading the dishwasher. I can't understand why, but I won't complain about it. Together we get the work done :)

I am so blessed to be the mother of two sweet children. They are healthy, happy, strong, and good. They really do spoil me with how good they are to each other. We went on a walk this evening and they were giggling the whole time. Who knows about what. The first word when Buddy wakes up is Sis's name. He looks for her and wonders where she is when she happens to be away from him for a little bit.

I have a home that is sturdy and keeps me safe and comfortable.

My parents and in-laws are what I would deem "normal" and we are so blessed because of it. I hear awful stories from friends about how their parents/in-laws drive them crazy. Ours respect our space and are very good to us.

Today was a beautiful day and we were able to get out and go for a walk as a family. The fresh spring air did wonders for my spirits as well as my cold.

See, now wasn't that better than hearing me complain?

More snow

I realize I've only been talking about the weather the past few posts, but it's what is on my mind. It snowed again last night. A lot of it is gone now, and should all be gone by tomorrow, but then it's supposed to snow again on Wednesday, and then Friday. When will it end? I am desperate for some spring! Or even summer. Just get winter over with! Is it July yet?

What did I tell you?

So, Saturday was absolutely beautiful. We even were able to get out and plant some onions. YUM! This morning, we awoke to this:



Yep, I knew I shouldn't be too optimistic about the weather.

Spring!!!

I can almost taste it. I know we're getting teased at the moment, but I can hope it's here, can't I? It was such a beautiful day today. The sky was blue and clear. The sun felt so warm on my skin at the play ground today. I would have to say spring is my favorite season. I love the mild temperatures and the newness of everything. My favorite color is green, and spring certainly has an abundance of that. I don't even mind the rain :)

Now, snow? I totally mind snow! NO MORE SNOW!!! Where I live? Not a chance!

Life is unfair :(

I'm contemplating today why life has to be so unfair to anyone. Especially my friends. My life has been so easy compared to the things my friends have had to go through. I grew up in what I think can be considered a "normal" family. I had a mom and a dad and a sister and we got along as well as families can be expected to. I really had a wonderful life.

I married my sweetheart whom I had a crush on since I was a Junior in HS. We are still madly in love and he treats me so good. I am so blessed.

I have two beautiful children who make me smile every day. They are healthy and happy. Also, they are both easy to care for.

So, why do I get to have such a wonderful life when my friends are going or have gone through really crummy things? I have friends who had horrible childhoods. So horrible, they can't/won't tell me everything. I have a friend who lost her beloved husband about a year ago. I have another friend who has already had to suffer a divorce. Another friend lost her baby after getting to hold him for only 30 min. Why do bad things happen to such wonderful people?

I really wish I had an answer.

I have a bar!!!

So, we've lived in this house since October. That means we've just started our 5th month here. Well, today I found something very important. I had seen it before (having done a bit of growing up in this house) and knew it was there somewhere, but was loosing hope I would ever find it. Well? I FOUND IT! Yes, I finally cleaned off my kitchen bar. Do you know how big this is? Probably not as I haven't posted any pics. No, I'm not going to take any either. I am just feeling fabulous that I got that done today.

Not only did I find my bar, I also cleaned off my smooth top stove. I was scared because I'd heard you can't use just anything to clean them and I didn't want to spend the money on a special cleanser. So, I googled it and found out that a baking soda paste would work great. So, my stove now looks amazing as well! Now, if I could only get over my dislike of loading the dishwasher, I could have my whole kitchen clean today...I may wait until Chip gets home ;)

Tagged

I know everyone has these kinds of tags on their blogs. It sure helps in knowing what to write! Also, I think they are a fun way of getting to know more about someone.

Here are the rules: 1) Post rules on your blog 2) Answer the six '8' items 3) Let each person know by leaving them a comment.

8 favorite TV shows:

1.The Dick VanDyke Show
2. Word Girl
3. Sci-Fi Friday
4. Baby Story
5. What Not to Wear
6. The Biggest Loser
7. The Cosby Show
8. Nova

8 Things I did yesterday:

1. Email
2. Bath
3. Nap (wasn't feeling very good)
4. Talk on the phone
5. Play with the kids
6. Watched "Cars" with my little guy
7. Went to the Temple
8. Played Wii with my friend

8 Things I'm looking forward to:

1. SPRING!!!
2. Going to Ohio for a week this summer
3. Having another baby
4. Spring Break
5. Summer Break
6. Sis starting kindy in the fall
7. Having a clean house (not the actual cleaning of it though)
8. A FOREVER family

8 favorite restaurants:

1. Olive Garden
2. Cafe Rio
3. Costa Vida
4. Cafe Sabor
5. Iggie's
6. Bluebird Cafe
7. La None
8. Applebees

8 Things on my wish list:

1. Healthy children
2. Patience
3. To be the best mom and wife
4. To Be in the Saviors Embrace
5. Clean house
6. To be able to help Others
7. More kiddos
8. To go on a trip to Europe!!!

8 people I tag:

Anyone who reads this blog :)

Is it July yet?

I ask this question for two big reasons. One, I am SSSSOOOOO sick of winter! We had another snow storm this past Thursday. I'm so glad it didn't stick. Also, I think our part of the state didn't get hit near as bad as just south of us. I think they were expecting a ton of snow. The good thing is it is raining more often now, so we're getting closer to spring.

My second reason for wanting July to get here is I get to go on a fabulous vacation to Cincinnati Ohio. Me and a friend are flying out to spend the first part of July with another dear friend of ours. We are flying out there without children and she's got someone to watch her kids for about half the time we are there. I'm so looking forward to getting away for a while and being with good friends. It's like the ultimate sleepover!

Speaking of good friends, the friend I'm flying out with is coming over tonight to watch my kids so Chip and I can go on a date to the temple. Isn't that awesome? She's then going to stay and play some games and have a late night at my house. I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends. YAY!

Pay it forward winners!

So, a few weeks ago I did a post called pay it forward where I would give a handmade gift to the first 3 comments on my post that day. Well, the winners were Miranda, Kellie, and Linsey. YAY for you guys! I thought I'd give you a sneak peak as to what to expect in the mail. Oh, and I need your ladies addresses. I have my comments set to where I have to ok them before they are posted, so feel free to leave a comment with your address and I won't post it for everyone to see.

Thanks!

Warning! Valentines "Mush" Ahead

I'm sorry it's been so long since I posted. I actually wrote out a long post the other day on stupid things people say to others who are grieving, but it didn't feel right to post it. Maybe someday. Anywho, I thought I better write SOMETHING tonight so I don't lose all my readers :)

Yesterday was Valentines day. I came to a realization that day. I am so much happier this year than I was last year! Last year, I figured out I was suffering from postpartum depression even though my baby was 9 months old at the time. I hadn't figured it out yet by Valentines, but I remember feeling awful. I had my nose out of joint because Chip didn't do exactly what I had pictured him doing for me. I FELT unappreciated even though I KNEW I was appreciated. That's the funny thing about depression. You can logically talk to yourself and know that everything in your life is great, but you don't FEEL it. I made it to the dr about 2 months later and got started on some medication and counseling. Apparently that's all my body needed, and it was able to heal itself to the point where I don't have to be on meds anymore.

Anyway, it was Valentines and I was mad. I started listening to the radio about 1PM when Dr. Laura comes on. She did her first annual Lovey Dovey show. I heard what the prizes were for just making it on the air and I wanted one...badly! So, I dialed and redialed and prayed that doing this would make me feel better about my life. I figured I would share a poem Chip wrote for me when we were engaged. Well, I got through! And I was able to share with the world what a kind and loving husband I have. And it worked! I did feel much better about him after that. I was able to gush about how much he does for me and our family. Complimenting him made me feel so much better than cursing him. LOL!

Well, it turned out that Chip came home a couple of hours early from work and brought some flowers with him. That totally made my day. :)

This Valentines day was so much fun because it was on Saturday. We started with family breakfast of crepes and strawberries and then we went bowling as a family. It was so much fun to see the kids bowl. Even Buddy got in on the action. It was way too cute. Later that evening, Chip and I went to the local recreation center and played our first game of racquetball. I can't share how that went because we both swore that everything that happened in there, stayed in there. Let's just say we aren't the most talented at racquetball ;) After that, we picked the kids up from my parents' house and put them to bed at home. We watch a movie called "The Ultimate Gift" (highly recommend that one) and then went to bed. It was so fun to spend the day together. Oh, and not only did Chip buy me a dozen beautiful red roses, he changed the litter box for me. Isn't that sweet? He changed the box and I'm not even pregnant or sick. He doesn't even like that cat!

Thanks, Sweets!

Debt free and loving it!

I doubt there is anyone reading this that doesn't know, but we moved to our current home this past October. Through the process of selling our first home and buying our second, we were able to accrue some nice equity. Using that equity, we were fortunate enough to pay off our credit card. No small feat! I think we had 7 or 8 thousand dollars on there that we had been trying to pay off for some time. We were able to pay just barely over the minimum payment every month and the $200 was sorely missed.

I bring this up because, for the first time in our married lives, we get to use our tax refund for WHATEVER WE WANT! That's right! No paying down the credit card this year. Nope, we have learned our lesson (hopefully) and will never get into the credit card debt trap again. Having a nice big chunk of money coming our way is truly motivating!

What are we going to do with the money? Well, first we are going to have an AC installed. We bought this house from my parents and they had started the process of getting an AC when their swamp cooler started leaking all over. They also got a new furnace at the time. So, they ran out of money to put in the AC, but the hook-ups all got installed. So, we just have to pay for the unit! I'm so excited for a nice cool summer!

Also, we will likely be getting a Wii. Chip decided it was cheaper to get a Wii than to take a family vacation to Disneyland. I think we win either way. We're also considering getting new windows in our home, but we have no idea how much that would cost us. We're just way excited to have the means to do some things we want to do. HOORAY!

Pay it Forward

I thought this looked fun :)

1. Be one of the first THREE bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me - something crafty or yummy, who knows?!

2. Winners must post this challenge on your blog, meaning that you will Pay It Forward, creating a handmade gift -anything!- for the first THREE bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway!

3. The gift that you send to your 3 Friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember: It’s the Spirit and the Thought That Count!

4. When you receive your gift, please feel free to blog about it, sharing appropriate Linky Love! If you are not one of the Top Three Commenters on this post, you can still play along. Go ahead and start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same!

SO, REMEMBER...Pay it forward!

Primary

You know, I wasn't all that thrilled when I was asked to be the primary pianist in my ward at church. I had just got back into Relief Society and was really enjoying the lessons. I was also nervous that I wouldn't get to feel the spirit or learn lessons that I thought I needed to because it would be "just" the basics.

I was wrong. I was very wrong. I LOVE being in primary. I love playing these beautiful songs that are so simple yet so profound. I read the lyrics, listen to the melodies, and listen to the voices of the children and the whole experience is very sweet.

Today we sang a song that has always been one of my favorites. When I was little, I'd sing it without really thinking about it. It just WAS. When I became a teen, I would think about the song and sometimes I would choke up. Now, I feel blessed to be at the piano, otherwise I'd just sit and cry. LOL!

I have a family here on earth. They are so good to me.
I want to share my life with them through all eternity.
Families can be together forever through Heavenly Father’s plan.
I always want to be with my own family,
And the Lord has shown me how I can.
The Lord has shown me how I can.

While I am in my early years, I'll prepare most carefully
So I can marry in God's Temple, for eternity.
Families can be together forever through Heavenly Father's plan.
I always want to be with my own family,
And the Lord has shown me how I can.
The Lord has shown me how I can.
(“Families Can Be Together Forever,” Children’s Songbook, 188)

I am so blessed to have this knowledge in my life. Also, that I have always known this and other truths. I love my family and I want them forever. This life is not long enough for me. I'll take eternity :)

Good Bye

I am a little sad today. I found out this morning that my Grandpa died last night. He was nearly 90 and has been sick for a long time. He's been dealing with mini strokes for quite a while now. He's also been missing Grandma. Grandma died about 6 years ago and it's been especially hard on him. We used to joke that together they were one. Grandma had the brains and Grandpa had the body. Well, he's been without a brain since Grandma left, and he's been really lost without her.

Last night must have been a great reunion. I can't even imagine the amount of relief Grandpa felt as he held Grandma in his arms again. They must have been so happy.

I love you, Grandpa.

Studying

No, I'm not going back to school :)

Actually, I have been taking part in some studies through the UofU. Well, I have taken part in one, and will take part in another one here this next week.

The one I did this week was a study on endometriosis, which is tissue that generally belongs in the uterus, but isn't and causes a lot of pain and even infertility. I don't know if I have it or not. I was in the control part of the study. Just your average Jane ;) Anyway, it was kind of cool to get some medical procedures done without having to be really sick. I had my first (and hopefully only) MRI as part of the study. I had to lay flat on my back, in a teeny tiny tube for about an hour and a half.

As they were moving me into the tube, I couldn't help but think about the movie Incredibles when they are putting Bob Parr into the small hole and he doesn't fit.

Copyright Disney/Pixar. All Rights Reserved
Luckily, the tube was a bit bigger than I am. While I was in the tube, I heard all sorts of noises. They changed often enough to startle me every time. I wonder if the techs were having fun watching me jump. I also got to listen to some Classical music throughout the procedure. That was so nice! I could have picked any kind of music, but I knew that Classical would be the most calming, and I needed that.

I was at the hospital for five and a half hours to do this study. Luckily for me, they are going to pay me $150 for taking part. WOOHOO!!! I'm saving this money up for a trip this summer.

The second study I just signed up for today. It's a study to see the effect of Aspirin in trying to conceive as well as in pregnancy. I'll get some really cool tools to use and all the supplies, including pregnancy tests, will be free. Not only free, but I will be PAID to do this. Really? Possibly get pregnant quicker and have an easier pregnancy and get paid to do it? YAY! I wonder where I can find other studies to be a part of ;)

It's COLD!!!

Oh, my goodness, it is WAY too cold around here! It's so cold I've had to climb over the console to get into my the drivers seat of my car because the door will freeze if it is opened. That's right. I won't be able to close my car door if I open it. Chip went out and tried to fix it tonight. We'll see how it goes tomorrow, but I'm scared. I have to be to orchestra at 7:50 AM which leaves almost no time for anything to go wrong.

On top of the cold, it's been snowing all day. Enough that the roads are horrid. Yep, I'm looking forward to being out there tomorrow. The last huge snow storm happened on Christmas and I was so happy I didn't have to teach the next day. Well, looks like fate has caught up with me. LOL!

Speaking of orchestra, I have been having weird dreams regarding going back. Apparently I'm a bit nervous? Anyway, in my dreams I either don't recognize my students or I can't remember their names. There was even one dream where my boss thought I wasn't a good enough teacher because my supervisor said I wasn't. So, my boss was in class with me the whole time for two days making sure I was doing everything right. Just a wee bit stressful! Thank goodness they are only dreams. I am looking forward to seeing my cute students again. I hope they are ready to jump into more detail on their instruments. We have a good two months of just learning :D Life can't get better than that.

Another Milestone

Yesterday was the two month mark of my miscarriage. I'm almost proud to say I only thought of it a couple of times and wasn't aware of the date until last night just before bed. A friend of mine, who lost her baby a couple of weeks after I did, wrote on my facebook wall and asked how I was doing. That was so sweet of her. I felt so loved and cared about.

I only nearly lost it once talking about it. Yesterday morning, I was doing my babysitting at the rec center. There were 3 siblings there. Anyway, one of the little girls mentioned how her mommy used to be having a baby, but it had died in her tummy. I said that was really sad and how that has happened to me a couple of times. My voice cracked, but I survived without crying.

I'm really surprised at how much easier this is to take than my first one. A couple of years ago, I was sad on the 15th or 16th of every month that went by. I wondered how I would ever make it through. Even when I was pregnant with Buddy, I still thought about how I should have been at the end of a pregnancy rather than the beginning when my due date came and went. I wonder if my big problem last time was that I was NOT ok with having only one child, but this time I am ok if I can only have two. Who knows?

Spending Money

I love to spend money. There is something totally exciting in making a big purchase for me. Rarely does it matter what the item is. Tomorrow we will probably buy a deep freeze. I think I'm silly to be so excited about it. LOL! It will be so nice to have the extra space though. There have been quite a few times where I've wanted to buy more of something but couldn't because I didn't have the space in my freezer. Hopefully this will not be so after tomorrow.

One thing that I really don't like to buy? Toilet paper. Why should I spend money on something that is going to end up going down the toilet? I have no problem buying garbage bags. In fact, I think it's fun to find the ones that are scented. Why is there a difference? Oh, and I have a hard time spending money on diapers. You know, the expensive kind. We usually go Walmart brand or White Cloud. Why spend so much money on something that is going to get dirty and thrown away.

I'd so much rather buy a new movie, or cookies, or socks, or electronics. KWIM?